Penny: Oh, damn it, we should have brought binoculars.
Bernadette: Right here.
Leonard: We just happen to have those in the car?
Bernadette: Kinda. Before I met Howie, I liked to keep close tabs on my boyfriends.
Leonard: By stalking them?
Bernadette: No. Stalkers are creepy. I'm just a harmless little girl with military-grade spy equipment.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Penny: Come on, Amy, show us the dress.
Amy: Okay, but I'm really stepping outside of my comfort zone here.
Penny: Uh, I don't think any of your comfort zones are showing.

Howard: If you don't want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?
Sheldon: Off the top of my head? Prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
Howard: You seriously think women would fight for you?
Sheldon: People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
Howard: He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.

Penny: I think it's so adorable you're making Sheldon breakfast.
Leonard: Well, he's having a rough time. Amy broke his heart, the DVR cut off the last minute of Doctor Who, that crow followed him home.