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Quote from Amy in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: That's not right. That's so unreasonable. Yeah, well, if you're going to be like this, then I don't want to talk to you right now, either. Okay. I love you. Bye.
Amy: Amazon customer support?

Quote from Amy in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: No, my mother. Guess who she's insisting we invite to our wedding.
Amy: Jesus?
Sheldon: If only.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: My brother.
Amy: Wait a minute. You didn't invite your brother to your own wedding?
Sheldon: He tormented me my whole childhood. I don't think I should reward that type of behavior with a slice of wedding cake in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
Amy: Try again.
Sheldon: A slice of wedding cake in the shape of a cake.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Amy: Look, he may have been mean to you when you were kids, but you're both grown men now.
Sheldon: That's right. I'm a grown-up, and if I don't want to invite him to my wedding, then I won't.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: Except I have to 'cause my mommy's making me.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Bernadette: How many out-of-town guests are there gonna be?
Amy: I'm actually not sure. Turns out Sheldon didn't invite his brother.
Penny: Mm. Now it's starting to sound like a wedding.
Amy: And his mom said she won't come if his brother's not there.
Bernadette: Ooh, now it's starting to sound like a good wedding.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Howard: Hey, Bernie. Hey, how do you know if someone has pink eye?
Bernadette: Um, their eye would be red, swollen and probably oozy.
Howard: Okay, thanks. Both kids have pink eye.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Penny: Hey. Step away from the bride.
Howard: (chuckles) Okay. I'll go back upstairs.
Bernadette: Get in the shower and then take those clothes and burn them.
Penny: Yeah, and all the rest of your clothes! Ah, worth a shot.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Raj: So am I gonna be, like, the only single guy at Sheldon's wedding?
Leonard: No. There-There'll be a lot of single people there. Stuart, Amy's great-aunt. Although, Stuart's already friended her on Facebook, so, better move quick.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Raj: I got to find a date. I don't want to be that sad single friend that everyone looks at with pity.
Leonard: Uh, I'm-I'm afraid that ship may have sailed.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: Leonard, you have a brother, right?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Is he the worst? Is he an unspeakable abomination? Does the very thought of him make your skin crawl?
Leonard: Well, he laughs at his own jokes, but otherwise he's okay.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Raj: Hey, why didn't you invite him in the first place?
Sheldon: You don't know what it was like growing up with him.
Raj: I get it; I grew up with lots of brothers. My brother Adoot was especially mean.
Leonard: Really? I've never heard you mention Adoot.
Raj: Yeah, sure I have. He's the one who left the door open when we were kids, and my pet mongoose ran away. Stupid Adoot.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Leonard: [on the plane with Sheldon to Texas] I kept saying no. H-H-How am I here?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Leonard: So, wait, y-your brother is Dr. Tire?
Sheldon: Yes, and, apparently, it only takes half a semester of community college to get that particular doctorate.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Leonard: We passed three of these stores on the way here. Why did you say he's just "some loser who sells tires"?
Sheldon: You're right, that was unfair. He's a loser who sells more tires than anyone in Texas.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Sibling Realignment

Leonard: Oh, excuse me. Uh, we're looking for a Georgie Cooper.
Margaret: One second, I'll check to see if the doctor's in.
Sheldon: He is not a doctor. (scoffs) There's only one doctor here and it's me.
Leonard: I'm also a doctor.
Sheldon: Do you want to wait in the car?
Leonard: I wanted to wait in California.

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