Latest Quotes Page 555 of 614
Barry Kripke: I will, however, give you the opportunity to concede my superiority now and offer my your robot as the spoils of war.
Sheldon: Never. I'd rather see MONTE dead than in your hands.
Barry Kripke: That can easily be arranged.
Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Mrs. Wolowitz Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.
Mrs. Wolowitz Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering.
Mrs. Wolowitz Excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. Want me to get you a popsicle?
Sheldon: Your robot is inferior and it will be defeated by ours because ours exceeds yours in both design and execution. Also, I'm given to understand that your mother is overweight.
Raj: Oh, snap.
Sheldon: Now of course if that is a result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony, I withdraw that comment.
Raj: What difference does it make, fat is fat.
Sheldon: There are boundaries!
Sheldon: So what do you think, Howard? It's not that bad, right?
Howard: A little electrical tape, some solder ... Are you insane? I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this.
Sheldon: All I need is a healthy ovum and I can grow my own Leonard Nimoy.
Penny: Okay, all I'm giving you is the napkin, Sheldon.
Wolowitz: He doesn't do anything for me. If I were going to go that way, I'm more of a Zac Efron kind of guy.
Raj: Oh yeah, like you have a shot with Zac Efron.
Sheldon: Sheldon: Oh, Penny. I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation.
Howard: Don't feel bad, Penny, it's a classic rookie mistake. My first Hanukkah with Sheldon, he yelled at me for eight nights.
Penny: Now, honey, it's okay.You don't have to get me anything in return.
Sheldon: Of course I do. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.
Penny: Okay, you know what? Forget it. I'm not giving you a present.
Sheldon: No, it's too late. I see it. That elf sticker says to Sheldon. The die has been cast, the moving finger has writ, Hannibal has crossed the Alps.
Sheldon: If I would give you this gift basket, based on that action alone and no other data, infer and describe the hypothetical relationship that exist between us.
Store clerk: Excuse me?
Sheldon: Here. Now, are we friends? Colleagues? Lovers? Are you my grandmother?
Store clerk: I don't understand what you're talking about and you're making me a little uncomfortable.
Howard: See? Sounds just like you and Penny. We'll take it.
Howard:Hey, isn't that the guy who won the MacArthur genius grant last year? (everyone looks) No, not all at once.
Raj: Then how?
Howard: Leonard. Now Raj. Now Sheldon.
Raj: I didn't get a good look. Can I go again?
Leonard: Here's my home number, here's my cell, here's my office, here's my parents' number up in New Jersey, they always know how to reach me.
Leonard: What are you looking at? You've never seen a hypocrite before?
Howard: Gather around, kids. It's time for Sheldon's beloved Christmas special.
Howard: Don't feel bad, Penny. It's a classic rookie mistake. My first Chanukah with Sheldon, he yelled at me for eight nights.
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