Latest Quotes Page 555 of 560
Leslie Winkle: What do you think?
Leonard: You proposed the experiment, I think you should present your findings first.
Leslie Winkle: Fair enough. On the plus side, it was a good kiss, reasonable technique, no extraneous spittle. On the other hand, no arousal.
Leslie Winkle: None.
Leonard: Ah. Well, thank you for your time.
Leslie Winkle: Thank you.
Sheldon: Oh, I've seen that look before. This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious Emo songs, and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. I don't know if I can take it.
Raj: You could power down.
Leonard: God, that's a good song.
Sheldon: If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide.
Sheldon: Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you.
Leonard: I know what you're thinking. I've taken your asthma into account. There's a feline geneticist in San Diego who has developed the cutest little hypo-allergenic calicos.
Sheldon: Leonard, listen to me.
Leonard: I've been thinking about names. I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzyboots.
Leonard: Good afternoon, Penny. So, hi, hey. Uh, I was wondering if you had plans for dinner.
Penny: Uh, do you mean dinner tonight?
Leonard: There is an inherent ambiguity in the word dinner. Technically it refers to the largest meal of the day whenever it is consumed, so, to clarify here, by dinner I mean supper.
Leonard: Or dinner. I was thinking six thirty, if you can go, or a different time.
Penny: Uh, six thirty's great.
Leonard: Really? Great!
Penny: Yeah, I like hanging out with you guys.
Leonard: Us guys?
Penny: You know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj. Who else's coming?
Leonard: They ... might all be there. Or a subset of them might be there. Uh, algebraically speaking there are too many unknowns. For example Sheldon had Quizznos for lunch, sometimes he finds that filling, other times he doesn't. It's no fault of Quizznos, they have a varied menu.
Leonard: Great. Did we say a time?
Penny: Six thirty.
Leonard: And that's still good for you?
Penny: It's fine.
Leonard: Cos it's not carved in stone.
Penny: No, six thirtys great.
Leonard: I'll get my chisel.
Leonard: To ... carve the ... okay, I'll see you six thirty.
Leonard: How do I look?
Sheldon: Could you be more specific?
Leonard: Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?
Sheldon: No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely.
Sheldon: What time is your date?
Leonard: Six thirty.
Sheldon: Perfect, that gives you two hours and fifteen minutes for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate.
Leonard: Is it too much?
Sheldon: Not if you're a rugby team.
Leonard: By the way, if it should ever come up, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizznos.
Sheldon: Why would I join you?
Leonard: No reason.
Sheldon: Of course, there's the other possibility that this date kicks off a rather unpleasant six months of the two of you passing awkwardly in the hall until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code.
Leonard: You could have stopped at "it could go well."
Sheldon: If I could've, I would've.
Leonard: I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common, "you love pottery? I love pottery!" You know, there's a pause, we both know what's happening. I lean in, we kiss, it's a little tentative at first but then I realise, she's kissing me back, and she's biting my lower lip. You know, she wants me, this thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh God! Oh, my God!
Leonard: Give me the phone.
Sheldon: But I thought you wanted to cancel?
Leonard: I can't because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you.
Sheldon: Why would she be expecting me?
Leonard: Stop asking me all these questions, I need to take another shower.
Penny: So are the rest of the guys meeting us here?
Leonard: Oh, yeah, no. Turns out that Raj and Howard had to work, and Sheldon had a colonoscopy and he hasn't quite bounced back yet.
Penny: Ooh, my uncle just had a colonoscopy.
Leonard: You're kidding. Well, then, that's something we have in common.
Leonard: We both have people in our lives who ... want to nip intestinal polyps in the bud.
Penny: So, what's new in the world of physics?
Penny: Really, nothing?
Leonard: Well, with the exception of string theory, not much has happened since the 1930s. And you can't prove string theory, at best you can say “Hey, look, my idea has an internal logical consistency.”
Penny: Ah. Well I'm sure things will pick up.
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