Latest 'The Big Bang Theory' Quotes Page 724 of 724
Quote from Leonard in the episode Pilot
Leonard: (Helping Althea with the crossword puzzle) One across is Aegean, eight down is Nabokov, 26 across is MCM, fourteen down is-- move your finger, phylum, which makes 14 across Port-au-Prince. See, Papa Doc's capital idea, that's Port-au-Prince. Haiti.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Sheldon: Leonard, I don't think I can do this.
Leonard: What are you, kidding? You're a semi-pro.
Sheldon: No, we are committing genetic fraud. There's no guarantee that our sperm's going to generate high-IQ offspring. Think about that. I have a sister with the same basic DNA mix who hostesses at Fuddruckers.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really!
Sheldon: If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care. 2 millime--? That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: It's true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12. My father broke his clavicle.
Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school?
Sheldon: No. That was the result of my work with lasers.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Leonard: I'm gonna invite her (Penny) over. We'll have a nice meal and chat.
Sheldon: Chat? But we don't chat, at least not off-line.
Quote from Penny in the episode Pilot
Penny: I'm a vegetarian, except for fish, and the occasional steak. I LOVE steak!
Sheldon: Well, that's interesting. Leonard can't process corn.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Penny: (Upset, about Kurt) 4 years, I lived with him. 4 years! That's like as long as high school.
Sheldon: It took you 4 years to get through high school?
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Sheldon: It has been some time since we had a woman take her clothes off in our apartment.
Leonard: That's not true, remember at Thanksgiving, my Grandmother with Alzheimer's had that episode?
Sheldon: Point taken, it has been some time since we had a woman take her clothes off after which we didn't wanna rip our eyes out.
Leonard: The worst part was watching her carve that turkey.
Quote from Howard in the episode Pilot
Howard: Wait till you see this.
Raj: It's fantastic. Unbelievable!
Leonard: See what?
Howard: (Putting in DVD) It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974.
Leonard: This isn't a good time.
Howard: (Imitating Stephen Hawking) It's before he became a creepy computer voice.
Quote from Althea in the episode Pilot
Leonard: Is this the high-IQ sperm bank?
Althea: If you have to ask, maybe you shouldn't be here.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Leonard: I have a board. If you like boards, this is my board.
Penny: Holy smokes.
Sheldon: If by "holy smokes", you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, come on. Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit brokenhearted"?
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Kurt: How the hell did you get in the building?
Leonard: We're scientists.
Sheldon: Tell him about our IQ.
Quote from Leonard in the episode Pilot
Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Quote from Althea in the episode Pilot
Althea: Fill these out.
Leonard: Thank you. We'll be right back.
Althea: Oh, take your time. I'll just finish my crossword puzzle. Oh wait.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode Pilot
Sheldon: Um, Penny, that's where I sit.
Penny: So, sit next to me.
Sheldon: No, I sit there.
Penny: What's the difference?
Sheldon: "What's the difference"?
Leonard: Here we go.
Sheldon: In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows, there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I've made my point.
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