Leonard: Hey, do you remember what happened at that first Halloween party that you invited me to?
Penny: When I threw up in the pumpkin?
Leonard: More memorable than that.
Penny: Really? That was pretty impressive.
Leonard: We had our first kiss. On this very couch.
Penny: No, no, our first kiss was at your birthday. Remember? I threw you a party, you didn't make it, and I felt bad for you.
Leonard: No, no, it was on Halloween, and you felt bad for me.
Penny: If we're gonna go through every party where I felt bad for you, we're gonna be here awhile.

Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: Well, I can understand how that would make someone irritable.
Howard: Interesting fact: "irritable" comes from the Latin, "susceptible to anger."
Sheldon: Just because I used a word doesn't mean I want its etymology.
Howard: Interesting fact: "etymology" comes from the Greek word-

Leonard: Oh, my God, you look amazing.
Raj: I find you guilty of murder, because you are killing it.
Howard: (imitating Sheldon) Well, technically, the Supreme Court wouldn't determine a defendant's guilt or innocence in a criminal matter. They could only reverse or revamp a jury's conviction based on a constitutional or statutory issue.

Howard: You're sitting in my spot.
Sheldon: You don't have a spot. What is wrong with you today?
Raj: Maybe he's cranky because he's off his bathroom schedule.