Zack: Well, Leonard, we were hoping you'd go in on Monday.
Leonard: Okay.
Marissa: And they say, for the best results, between now and then, you shouldn't have sex.
Zack: Sorry, bro, I know it seems impossible to go for five days without, but I believe in you.
Leonard: Five days? My record is 24 years.
Penny: Uh, I think that also means no flying solo.
Leonard: Oh. Then my record is 14 years.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Sheldon: I remember the song! It's called "Darlin'" by the Beach Boys! Oh, thank goodness! I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride!
Leonard: There goes our shot at him living on the roof.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Marissa: It's a little weird for us, too. I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack, it's gonna look like Leonard.
Zack: Or Penny if it's a girl.
Penny: No, no, it's not gonna look- Sure.

Marissa: And, well, we're really hoping for a son. So just, like, keep that in mind when you're in there.
Zack: Yeah, just think, "Little boys, little boys."
Penny: Still just totally not weird.

Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Oh, hey, Sheldon. We're kind of in the middle of something.
Sheldon: Oh, I won't be a moment. I just need to grab a book off a high shelf, which I can do because I am both tall and smart.
Amy: Sheldon, come home! They don't want to have your baby!
Sheldon: I don't know what you're talking about. Oh-oh, dear, I think I got something in my eye. My piercing, blue eye.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: Fine. I've also never had a cavity and I don't have asthma.