Amy: If we have damaging and embarrassing information about someone, should we keep it to ourselves or expose them?
[Everyone freezes and looks nervously at Amy]

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Sheldon: Are you all right? You seem distracted.
Amy: Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out.
Sheldon: Is it what to get me for our anniversary? 'Cause I'll give you a hint: it's already in my Amazon basket. Just click "buy now." I filled out the gift card for you. Apparently, I'm the light of your life.

Sheldon: So I was talking to my mom about our Pemberton and Campbell situation.
Amy: Really? What'd she say?
Sheldon: Apparently, Old Testament God would bring down his wrath on them for being deceitful, but New Testament God would forgive them.
Amy: So couldn't we just bring down our wrath and ask the New Testament God to forgive us?
Sheldon: You know, I asked her that very question.
Amy: And?
Sheldon: She said I was full of California sass.

Barry Kripke: Oh God, I hate that guy.
Sheldon: That's strange; you seem quite fond of him.
Barry Kripke: I was only being polite. Pemberton is a grade A weasel.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not just being polite when you say it's nice to see me?
Barry Kripke: I have literally never said that to you.