Leonard: Did you hear about Howard and Bernadette?
Penny: Of course I heard about it, how did you hear about it?
Leonard: I heard it from Sheldon, he got it from Amy.
Penny: Damn it! I told Amy that in the strictest of confidence. Boy some people are such blabbermouths. Well whatever, I'm sure Bernadette can do better.
Leonard: Do you think a sexually ambivalent Indian astrophysicist with selected mutism and alcohol issues is better than a 100lb Jewish guy who lives with his mom?
Penny: You are kidding! Raj likes Bernadette?
Leonard: I didn't say Raj, who said Raj?
Penny: Okay give, how do you know? Did he tell you?
Leonard: No
Penny: Well then who?
Leonard: I can't say
Penny: Priya told you, oh what a little gossip. Ya know, not an attractive quality in a woman Leonard. Not judging, just my opinion.
Leonard: Well the point is if this got out it would destroy Howard and Raj's friendship.
Penny: You don't have to worry, unlike Amy and Priya, I know how to keep a secret.
Leonard: You're the one who told Amy in the first place.
Penny: In confidence.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: Shut your ass!

Raj: It's amazing what liquor does to guilt.

Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.