Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight?
Penny: Well, you can try. But the neighbors across the hall are being very noisy.
Leonard: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Penny: Yeah, apparently the one fella changed the thermostat, and then the other fella went bat-crap crazy.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: This is the temperature you agreed to in the roommate agreement.
Leonard: Aw, screw the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: No, you don't screw the roommate agreement. The roommate agreement screws you.

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don't have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they're here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you.

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!