Raj: Penny, if you truly want to be romantic it has to come from you.
Penny: I get that, but why is this so hard?
Raj: You've probably never had to do this before because you're young and beautiful, and men have always thrown themselves at you.
Penny: Yeah, I'm trying to be sad about that. I can't.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Sheldon: I've got to find a way to stop this thing.
Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. Once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: Frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.

Bernadette: Great news. A raccoon virus just crossed the species barrier and can now infect humans.
Raj: Why is that great news?
Bernadette: In the pharmaceutical business we have a saying: mo' infections, mo' money.