Raj: Aw, I have to go to the bathroom so bad.
Sheldon: Every year, I told you wear a diaper.
Raj: I told you I get diaper rash!

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

James Earl Jones: Let me guess. You like Star Wars.
*Sheldon nods*
James Earl Jones: You know I've been in other movies.
*Sheldon nods*
James Earl Jones: But you don't care about those, do you?
*Sheldon shakes his head*
*James Earl Jones signals for Sheldon to come closer*
James Earl Jones: I have one thing to say to people like you. I like Star Wars too! Care to join me?

Amy: Why can't they do something sensible like Sheldon, and start their own comic book convention? Also, who wants to throw me out that window?

Bernadette: Well, while they're acting like teenagers we could do something grown up.
Amy: Ooh, you mean like a museum?
Penny: Yes, like a museum but anything else!