Wil Wheaton: Listen, Sheldon. I'm really happy to do this for you, but not if she's going to be a huge pain in the ass the whole time.

Wil Wheaton: Game over, Moonpie.

Wil Wheaton: Did that guy just say "Revenge is a dish best served cold" to me in Klingon?

Wil Wheaton: Hey look, they named their team after me!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help, my hand's stuck in the garbage disposal.
Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding? It's a perfectly good chicken leg.

Wil Wheaton: Problem, first time director?

Sheldon: Amy deserves better. You know, when we buy the Planter's deluxe mix, she eats all the Brazil nuts so I don't have to look at them. She's a unique blend of saint and squirrel.