Penny: Sheldon, what did we say about being a nicer friend?
Leonard: Thank you.
Penny: Leonard, what did we say about being a gullible weeny?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Howard: I'm not signing a prenup.
Penny: All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up! You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen, we had a meeting.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Raj: Hey, listen to this. Murder, cannibalism and satanic rituals are just a few of the thousand-plus horrors that await.
Howard: I just helped my mum out of the tub, so I'm one slippery horror ahead of you.

Raj: Why can't I be in a relationship with a girl who likes The Sound of Music?
Howard: Raj, you are the girl in the relationship who likes The Sound of Music.

Raj: You know when Cinnamon won't take her medicine. I hide it in a piece of cheese.
Howard: Good idea. We can wrap up the pill in cheese, feed it to Cinnamon and then my mom can eat Cinnamon.