Sheldon Cooper: You're my 15th favorite technological visionary.

Steve Wozniak: Only 15th?

Sheldon Cooper: It's still 6 spots above Steve Jobs. I care neither for turtlenecks nor showmanship.

Steve Wozniak: Yeah, I never got that turtleneck thing.

Sheldon Cooper: One of my proudest possessions is a vintage 1977 Apple. Despite the file system limitations of Apple DOS 3.3, it was a pretty nifty little achievement.

Steve Wozniak: Thanks. We were shooting for nifty. You know if you had it here I'd autograph it for you.

Sheldon Cooper: Don't move for 15 to 30 minutes depending on how the buses are running.

Steve Wozniak: (To his wife) Nerds!

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.