Raj: It all comes down to this.
(Raj shoots bottle in a trash can)
Howard: You happy? Now you can relax.
Raj: What kind of a scientist are you?! Everyone knows you've got to make two out of three!

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Bernadette: Are you okay?
Raj: No, I'm not okay. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.
Bernadette: I told you not to wax down there. It's itchy when it grows back.

Penny: Do I really force you to do things you don't want to?
Amy: Yeah, but it's okay.
Penny: How is it okay?
Amy: I promised myself if I ever got friends I'd do whatever they said. Really, I'm lucky you found me before a cult did.

Penny: Ooh, we could go horseback riding.
Amy: I actually can't. My hips don't open wider than 22 degrees. I rode a very thin pony once. On the first bump I just popped right off.