Leonard: It's like when I started doing chin-ups. I didn't want you to see until I could do one. FYI, really close.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Howard: Don't feel bad. Some day someone will be throwing out your work, too.
Leonard: That someone was Sheldon and the day was yesterday.

Sheldon: I remember the song! It's called "Darlin'" by the Beach Boys! Oh, thank goodness! I'm not crazy! I don't have to take a pigeon as my bride!
Leonard: There goes our shot at him living on the roof.

Leonard: I did a bad thing.
Sheldon: Does it affect me?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then suffer in silence.

Stephen Hawking: What does Sheldon Cooper and a black hole have in common? They both suck.

Sheldon: Steven Hawking's a genius and he talks like a robot. It's everything I ever wanted in a friend.