Bernadette: I don't think I can meet the girl who was always mean to me. Tammy Bodnick. One time, while I was in gym class, she stole all my clothes and left an elf costume in my locker.
Penny: Oh, that's awful.
Bernadette: Worst part was, it was too big.

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Leonard: Do you think we can outrun him?
Sheldon: I don't need to outrun him, I just need to outrun you.

Penny: Did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?
Leonard: Yeah, it's "Penny already eats our food she can pay for Wi-Fi". No spaces.

Sheldon: I'm not going to say I told you so, but we could have killed him.