Penny: Okay, look, they sent me the ticket. I told them I wasn't driving and they were all, if it wasn't you, who was it?
Sheldon: So you betrayed me?
Penny: No, it wasn't a betrayal. It was more of a can't afford any more points on my license. I already have to buy my insurance from this place in the Cayman Islands.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: Good Morning your honor, Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se - that is to say representing himself.
Judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: Yet you wound up in traffic court.

Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.