Howard: Listen to me, if she's writing about your relationship, use it to your advantage. Rig the game.
Raj: Well, that doesn't seem fair.
Howard: Is it fair that girls like confident, normal guys more than nervous weirdos?
Raj: No, it's not. I've always thought that was unfair.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Howard: People change names on blogs to protect their privacy. Roger is Raj.
Raj: Oh, I always thought if I had a white name it would be Gavin.

Sheldon: You don't know what it's like to feel completely frustrated. To have a desire build up within you and be denied any opportunity for release.
Amy: Yeah, sounds like a drag.

Amy: Missed one. Now your wish can't come true.
Sheldon: Lucky for you because I wished you were dead.