Leonard: Is my coitus whimsically inventive?
Penny: That is what I write on the bathroom walls. For a whimsically inventive time, call Leonard Hofstadter.
Leonard: I know you're joking, but I'd be okay with that.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Kripke: My work would suffer too if I was getting laid all the time.
Sheldon: Yes, that is the reason. My work is suffering because of all the laid I am getting.
Kripke: You lucky bastard.
Sheldon: What can I say, you know? She enjoys my genitals. I am giving them to her on a nightly basis.

Kripke: You guys ever use any toys?
Sheldon: I do have a model rocket next to my bed.
Kripke: A rocket? You're a freak! I love it!

Bernadette: No, here's how love works. You're gonna return the machine or you can print out a working set of lady parts and sleep with those.
Howard: [pondering]
Bernadette: Oh, my God! Are you actually thinking about it?