Bernadette: Hey, Raj, if Howard can't keep the TARDIS, how great would it look at your place?
Raj: What?
Howard: Yeah, what?
Bernadette: I don't know much about Doctor Who, but if you were to put this right outside your front door and open up the back, it would be like your entire apartment is the inside of the TARDIS. Which is pretty cool because on the show, the inside of the TARDIS is bigger than the outside. But then again, I don't know much about Doctor Who.

Bernadette: She's just being nice.
Howard: Well, I'm her son, how come she doesn't send someone to check on me if I'm lonely.
Bernadette: Because you have a wife!
Howard: Yeah, well, sometimes you work late.

Howard: My arm is feeling numb. *Howard rubs his right arm*
Bernadette: That's the wrong arm for a heart-attack, doofus.
*Howard switches to his left arm*

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.

Amy: Have you made a decision about the TARDIS? I think I can sell it if we call it Big British Portapotty.

Sheldon: Amy, the Daleks are right on my tail. Quick, we need to reset the time circuits. Oh no, I left my Sonic Screwdriver behind.
Amy: Really should have thought this through.

Howard: Come on, one day this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it!