Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.
Leonard: What is this?
Sheldon: Plane tickets and hotel reservations for a weekend away in San Francisco.
Penny: That is so great!
Sheldon: Yeah, there's fisherman's wharf, and Alcatraz, and cable cars. We're gonna have so much fun.
Penny: We?
Sheldon: Is there a problem?
Penny: Uh, no, no. I just said "Weeee!"

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey, buddy, can we have some privacy?
Sheldon: Of course. Wouldn't want to intrude. (takes red bra out of his pocket and hands it to Penny) This is yours.
Penny: Okay, when I'm done with him, I'm gonna need more information.
Sheldon: Nothing odd. I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it.

Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.