Bernadette: All right. Let's start over. I'm redecorating. The furniture, the carpeting, the walls. I'm changing everything that depresses me when I look at it. Try not to be one of those things.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. This is Adam Nimoy.
Adam Nimoy: Nice to meet you.
Sheldon: Oh, it's nice to meet you. I admire your father's work very much.
It's not every day I get to meet someone whose life's journey began in my hero's scrotum.

Howard: May I say something?
Bernadette: Is it about how I can't have new wallpaper 'cause your dad left when you were little and your mom died?
Howard: Never mind.

Sheldon: As a child, when faced with a dilemma, my mother encouraged me to ask, "€œWhat would Jesus do?" The answer to that was always, "Love thy neighbor." But my neighbor had a dead tooth, so that wasn't going to happen.
But that's why I changed it to, "€œWhat would Spock do?"
Adam Nimoy: Did you find that helpful?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, for example, three years ago when I discovered Penny was eating all my Pop-Tarts, instead of getting angry or vindictive, you know, I got a floor safe.
Penny: I knew I could smell 'em.