Raj: You know, this reminds me of high school.
Emily: You worked in a restaurant?
Raj: No, I was in India. It was humid and smelled funny.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Raj: Have you guys seen this feature that lets you talk to Siri without pressing any buttons?
Howard: No. How does it work?
Raj: You just say, uh, "Hey, Siri, what time is it?"
Siri: The time is 6:37 p.m.
Howard: So now anyone can control your phone? Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
Raj: Nice try. It only recognizes my voice.
Howard: Oh, cool. (Imitates Raj): Hey, Siri, show me pictures of naked grandma butts.
Raj: I don't sound like that.
Siri: Here are some images of naked grandma butts.

Amy: Let's see. I have been on six dates with three different people. It was either for coffee or dinner. One I met at a bookstore and two I met online. I haven't slept with anyone. The aquarium is 40 minutes away. And there's a baggie of Cheerios for you in the glove compartment.
Sheldon: Uh, regular or honey nut?
Amy: I mixed them.
Sheldon: You mixed them. No wonder gentleman callers are pounding down your door.

Sheldon: Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.