Leonard: Ready to play when you are.
Howard: Yeah, um, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something.
Raj: If it's "thank you" for the homemade jam you got in December, congratulations, you're the first one.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: Okay, here we go. [to Leonard & Penny] Say cheese. [to Sheldon & Amy] Say cheese. [to Howard & Bernadette] Say cousin.

Penny: Oh, it's Leonard. He says Sheldon's drunk and they're gonna do karaoke if we want to join them.
Penny: That sounds fun.
Amy: Oh, no. Sheldon's drunk texting me.
Bernadette: What's it say?
Amy: "Would you like to sing karaoke with us."
Bernadette: How is that a drunk text?
Amy: He used a period instead of a question mark. He's so wasted.

Raj: Look at that. You've known you're gonna be a father for less than a day and you're already stepping up.
Leonard: I'm telling you, you got this.
Howard: Maybe you're right.
Sheldon: Of course he's right. You and I both know how hard it is growing up without a father. That's why I'm confident you're gonna be the best dad you can be.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You're welcome. And if he has twins, we can do all kinds of neat experiments on them.

Amy: Are you hungry? How about that sushi place you love?
Bernadette: Doctor said I can't have sushi.
Penny: Okay, look, we don't have to go anywhere. We can just, you know, stay here and hang out in the hot tub.
Bernadette: Doctor said I can't go in the hot tub.
Amy: Maybe you should get a new doctor. What, he said you can't laugh either?