Leonard: Hold on, hold on. So the three of us do all the work and only end up with 25%? Patent Attorney: Dr. Hofstadter, this university has been paying your salaries for over ten years. Did you think we do that out of the goodness of our hearts?
Leonard: Well, until you just said that mean thing, kinda.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: Hang on. Maybe there should be a "no insult" clause about me, too.
Sheldon: Do you still like cilantro?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: You're tying my hands here.

Howard: See, he's not wearing a tie.
Leonard: Well, he's a patent attorney. Maybe his tie is pending.

Raj: That was rough, you guys.
Penny: I know, but you did it. I'm so proud of you.
Raj: Well, anyway, I'll leave you to your girls' night.
Amy: Are you sure you don't want to stay here with us?
Raj: No, I kind of feel like being alone right now.
Bernadette: Well, if you change your mind, we'll be here.
Raj: Thank you.
Penny: Say hi to Emily for us.
Raj: Will do!