Claire: Hey, Raj.
Raj: Hey, Claire. Good, you're here. Guys, this is my friend Claire. We're casually dating, and there's no need for any further questions about it.
Leonard: Would you like a glass of wine?
Raj: I said no questions.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: Well, it makes perfect sense. Because you're an expectant mother, you can't drink alcohol. I don't like to. You can't have sushi. I don't like to. You can't go in hot tubs. I consider them vats of sweaty people soup.
Bernadette: Gee, Sheldon, I dont know.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. Roller coasters, caffeine, runny eggs, I've been avoiding these things all my life. And now, because you're pregnant, you have to.

Leonard: Hey, did you ever think about the military applications for the guidance system?
Sheldon: Of course.
Leonard: Does it bother you?
Sheldon: No, it did at first. But then I talked it through with Frank and Alicia, and they really helped put things into perspective.
Leonard: Who are these people?
Sheldon: Leonard, friends are like toilet paper. It's good to have extras under the sink.

Raj: Hey, dude, you're killing me with Claire.
Zack: What are you talking about?
Raj: I mean, come on, look at you. You're classically handsome, you've got a swimmer's body. Next to you, I look like me.