Penny: Hi. I'm sorry to bother you guys, but you've got to come take your Sheldon back.
Leonard: What's he doing in your apartment?
Penny: Well, he was moping down in the lobby, so I invited him over and now I regret it.
Leonard: Why do you regret - Uh, never mind, stupid question.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Leonard: [to a "smiling" Sheldon] We're here to see Koothrappali, not kill Batman.

Sheldon: I'm not saying that all senior citizens that can't master technology should be publicly flogged. But, if we made an example of one or two it might give the others incentive to try harder.

Raj: Ooh, Leonard is going all alpha nerd on Sheldon's ass.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions, but there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?