Beverly Hofstadter: Thank you for taking us to the airport.
Leonard: Hey, I'm just thrilled we're all getting along for a minute.
Alfred Hofstadter: Yeah, me, too. Beverly, I'm sorry if I upset you.
Beverly Hofstadter: Water under the bridge, Alfred. Leonard, why don't you get into the carpool lane?
Alfred Hofstadter: Well, that's a solid line. He can't cross it.
Leonard: That's okay. I can make it over.
Beverly Hofstadter: No, no, let's plod along. It'll make your father feel more comfortable.
Alfred Hofstadter: What makes me comfortable is knowing I don't have to wake up tomorrow morning and see your sour face.
Beverly Hofstadter: Do the world a favor, and don't wake up tomorrow morning.
Leonard: That was almost a minute.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Raj: Can we take a moment to discuss that I just lied to the government for you?
Howard: Yeah, I would not have done that for you.

Sheldon: Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.