Penny: It's just, Leonard and I have been married for two years, and we're no further along than when we were dating.
Amy: Come on. You've got so much to feel good about. You've got a great job now.
Penny: Yeah, I guess I am making decent money.
Amy: You make more than I do.
Bernadette: You may not have a house yet, but your apartment's great.
Amy: It's bigger than mine.
Bernadette: And Leonard loves you so much, he married you twice.
Amy: I'm not even engaged once. I don't even know if Sheldon thinks about marriage. I'm not getting any younger. Honestly, I kind of thought by now, we might have had some sort of-
Bernadette: Careful. The sound of crying can make me lactate.
Amy: I'm sorry. I can't help it. (crying)
Penny: Oh, that's gonna make me cry. (crying)
Bernadette: And there they go.
Penny: Ew.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Howard: How'd you even get that up the stairs?
Sheldon: I said to myself, "I think I can, I think I can." And then I couldn't, so I paid two men who promised not to come rob us later.

Colonel Williams: What's this?
Leonard: Oh, nothing. Just some math we don't need.
Colonel Williams: This is a different approach. Are you trying to get the guidance system even smaller?
Leonard: It's just a theory. Uh, it's not even worked out.
Colonel Williams: Oh. I want this.
Howard: But we've already met the agreed upon specs. Going smaller would require weeks' worth of new computations.
Colonel Williams: So get the kid with the two shirts to do it.

Leonard: You know, I do have a way to get him out of our hair. I've been holding onto this for a few years, but maybe now's the time.
Howard: We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
Leonard: You can't kill him; he'll just respawn at the last save point.