Sheldon: This is Stan Lee's front door. We were on Stan Lee's curb, then we were on Stan Lee's walk, and now we're at Stan Lee's front door.
Penny: Yup.
Sheldon: Oh, Lord, you just rang Stan Lee's doorbell. At Stan Lee's house. We're about to go in and have milk and cookies with Stan Lee.
Penny: Okay, sweetie, I don't know if we're gonna have cookies, or he's just gonna say hi, or really what's gonna happen, so just let me talk...

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: Good Morning your honor, Dr. Sheldon Cooper appearing in pro se - that is to say representing himself.
Judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: Yet you wound up in traffic court.

Sheldon: *After just being jailed, at the biggest guy in the cell who's sitting on a bench* That's my spot.

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.