Leonard: She knows I have a girlfriend. It's so weird.
Raj: Oh, my God. You're loving this.
Leonard: To my bones. I mean, I'm not gonna do anything about it. I love Penny. It's just nice to have a young, attractive woman sniffing around the goods.
Raj: I both hate you and want to be you. This is Ryan Gosling all over again.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Amy: I have a lab full of coked up monkeys with nothing to lose.

Sheldon: My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.
Alex: What?
Sheldon: Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.

Alex: Is there a problem?
Sheldon: Let's not call it a problem. Let's call it an opportunity. To solve a serious problem.