Leonard: So aren't you going to go talk to her?
Howard: I will, I'm just working on my opening line.
Leonard: She's probably heard every possible line, Howard. Why don't you just try hello?
Howard: No, no, no, that always creeps girls out. I need to come up with something thats funny, smart and delicately suggests that my sexual endowment is disproportionate to my physical stature.
Leonard: You're going to need more than 11 hours.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.

Leonard: Well, it looks like you're caught between a rock and a crazy place.
Sheldon: I hate when that happens.

Sheldon: No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw.