Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniak was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs.
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.

Penny: At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box.
Leonard: Wait, Sheldon gave me a banana in a box. He was testing me, too.
Penny: Unbelievable.
Leonard: And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Penny: Really? You couldn't get it out?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: At my age, do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.

Penny: You wanna turn yourself into some sort of robot?
Sheldon: Essentially, yes.
Penny: Okay, here's my question: Didn't you already do that?

Leonard: What's a dogapus?
Sheldon: A hybrid dog and octopus. Man's underwater best friend.
Leonard: There's someone working on that?
Sheldon: I was going to. I planned on giving it to myself for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait a minute you hate dogs.
Sheldon: A dogapus can play fetch with eight balls; no one can hate that.