Penny: (Opening her apartment door) Oh, hey guys, what's up?
Howard: We need a hot fifteen year-old Asian girl with a thing for smart guys.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Howard, that's racist. Any fifteen year-old girl will do the trick. (Penny slams the door.)
Raj: It's possible she may have misunderstood us.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Raj: Can you believe it! He watched me work for 10 minutes and than he tried to build a little piece of software that could replace me.
Leonard: Is that really possible?
Raj: As it turned out, yes.

Sheldon: Engineering. Where the noble semiskilled laborers execute the vision of those who think and dream. Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.

Leonard: Okay, Sheldon, I understand that youre going through a bit of a career crisis, you're searching for some other area where you can feel valuable and productive but I need to tell you something and I want you to listen carefully.
Sheldon: All right.
Leonard: Go away!