Bernadette: Howie, slow down.
Howard: I can't. I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, and I only got two more minutes.
Leonard: What surgery are you having?
Raj: I'm stress eating. My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow.
Penny: And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Howard: I'm not signing a prenup.
Penny: All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up! You sign anything she puts in front of you, because you are the luckiest man alive. If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not going to happen, we had a meeting.

Sheldon: Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 01000010 01111001 01100101. That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, or good-binary.

Amy: Well, what was wrong with it? You know, did you find it borderline psychotic? I mean, I liked that about it, but you guys discuss.

Sheldon: You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist.
Wil Wheaton: Well, I was never on a starship, but pretending I was bought me this house. And if I'd pretended a little longer, it would have a swimming pool.