Bernadette: Howie, slow down.
Howard: I can't. I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, and I only got two more minutes.
Leonard: What surgery are you having?
Raj: I'm stress eating. My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow.
Penny: And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Sheldon: Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 01000010 01111001 01100101. That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, or good-binary.

Amy: Well, what was wrong with it? You know, did you find it borderline psychotic? I mean, I liked that about it, but you guys discuss.

Sheldon: You can't be Professor Proton. You're not a scientist.
Wil Wheaton: Well, I was never on a starship, but pretending I was bought me this house. And if I'd pretended a little longer, it would have a swimming pool.