Raj: Do either of you ladies enjoy the novels of John Grisham?

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Penny: I give up. He's impossible.
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist. I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.

Sheldon: You know, I've always wanted to go to a goth nightclub.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Bazinga! You never see any of my practical jokes coming, do you?

Leonard: I'm just saying, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Sheldon: You catch even more with manure, what's your point?