1002 - The Military Miniaturization
Aired September 26, 2016

The Military Miniaturization

Howard finally meets Air Force representative Colonel Williams to discuss the guidance system project. Despite the guys' best efforts to silence Sheldon during the meeting, he lands them all in a difficult position.

Meanwhile, Bernadette is upset to find out that somebody at work revealed she is expecting, fearing that the pregnancy will hold her career back.

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Guest Stars: Dean Norris as Colonel Williams, Josh Zuckerman as Marty

Writers: Chuck Lorre (Story), Eric Kaplan (Story), Jim Reynolds (Story), Steven Molaro (Teleplay), Steve Holland (Teleplay), Maria Ferrari (Teleplay)

Director: Mark Cendrowski

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Episode Notes

  • The title refers to Sheldon, Leonard and Howard's work with the military to miniaturize their guidance system.

Quotes

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Bernadette: Apple slices? What kind of lunatic goes to McDonald's and gets fruit?

Bernadette: Well, my boss said he hadn't decided yet, so I gently reminded him that he's an old rich white guy, and I'm a sweet little pregnant lady who's not afraid to cry in front of a jury.

Penny: You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.

Howard: I was counting on that money. I need to make as much as my wife so I don't have to try so hard in bed.

Recap

As Sheldon talks to Leonard about Elon Musk’s theory that we’re all just characters in an advanced civilization’s video game, Howard and Raj arrive at the apartment. Howard tells them that the Air Force representative want a meeting about their guidance system. The guys are worried that the military will take their project away from them, and with it their chance of commercializing the idea. Sheldon thinks the real issue is they’re going to become faceless cogs in the military industrial complex, a prospect that Sheldon finds exciting.

When the girls gather in Penny’s apartment, Bernadette admits that she’s worried about Howard, who’s been a nervous wreck since the Air Force guy showed up. Bernadette gets a text from a work colleague congratulating her on being pregnant. Bernadette didn’t want people at work to know and wonders how the news slipped out. Penny says she didn’t tell anyone. Bernadette is worried she won’t be considered for a big immunotherapy study if her bosses know she’s pregnant.

Back in the apartment, Raj is excited to post on Snapchat that his friends might be working on a top secret government project. Howard thinks they should talk to a lawyer first, but Sheldon says he can do the job. Meanwhile, Penny wonders how Bernadette thought she would be able to hide her pregnancy at work. Bernadette was going to leave Dove Bar wrappers around to explain her weight gain. After Bernadette leaves to find out if her boss knows her secret, Penny admits to Amy that she was the one who revealed Bernadette’s secret. Although Penny feels bad for lying to Bernadette, Amy is more interested in scanning Penny’s brain to see how she’s so good at lying. 

The guys gather in Howard’s lab so they can call his cousin, Marty. Sheldon still doesn’t see the point in consulting a tax lawyer for intellectual property advice. When Howard’s cousin tells them hear the military out, offer as little information as possible and not sign anything,  Sheldon is unimpressed. After Sheldon starts yelling at Marty, Howard agrees to call him back later. Elsewhere, Penny goes to Bernadette’s office to see how she’s feeling. Bernadette is still furious about people finding out she’s pregnant and she wants revenge on whoever revealed her secret. After Penny comes clean and admits she told a colleague by accident, Bernadette tells Penny to get out. 

Sheldon, Leonard and Howard wait in his lab for Colonel Williams to show up. Sheldon has been told not to talk at the meeting. After Colonel Williams arrives, Howard introduces himself as the brains of the operation. As Howard and Leonard do the talking, Sheldon struggles to remain silent. When Colonel Williams questions the guys about the guidance system, they’re pleased to learn he understands physics as an MIT educated engineer. Colonel Williams explains they’re interested in funding their research as they believe there’s military applications for it. However, Colonel Williams needs the guidance system to be much smaller. When the Colonel says his colleagues at MIT think they could develop a smaller version in four months, Sheldon finally breaks his silence and says they miniaturize it in two months. 

Amy visits Bernadette, who’s working late in her office, with dinner. Bernadette is stressing out because her boss wants to meet with her. She is sure she will be treated differently now she’s pregnant. Bernadette says she’s always been treated differently because of her size and how she talks. When Amy tries to cheer Bernadette up with a Happy Meal from McDonald’s, Bernadette is upset that Amy got apple slices instead of French fries. Amy runs out to get fries, and a chocolate shake, for Bernadette. 

When Penny goes to the apartment, she finds Sheldon mixing batter in the kitchen. Sheldon explains he’s making lemon bars for Leonard. Everyone is upset with Sheldon because he committed them to completing this project in a ridiculously short period of time. Penny says if it makes him feel any better, Bernadette’s mad at her too. It doesn’t. Elsewhere, Raj is with Howard and Leonard as they pack their stuff up from his lab. Howard says they might be able to complete the project on time, if they work twelve hour days, seven days a week. Raj is upset that he won’t be seeing much of Howard during the project.

Bernadette goes to Penny’s apartment to talk things through. Bernadette apologizes for being angry at Penny, saying she knows what Penny did was an accident. Penny is sorry for lying to her. Bernadette says her boss hasn’t decided whether Bernadette will run the big study, but Bernadette gently reminded him that he’s an old rich white guy and she’s a sweet little pregnant lady who’s not afraid to crying front of a jury. 

After Sheldon, Leonard and Howard arrive the classified building where they will work on their guidance project, they find their workroom and have fun playing with the retinal scanner guarding the door.