The Neonatal Nomenclature Season 11, Episode 16 -  Aired March 1, 2018

The Neonatal Nomenclature

When Bernadette's pregnancy drags on, her friends each try their own solution to get things going. Meanwhile, Howard confronts Bernadette after learning she has already chosen a name for their new son.

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Writers: Eric Kaplan (Story), Maria Ferrari (Story), Anthony Del Broccolo (Story), Steve Holland (Teleplay), Tara Hernandez (Teleplay), Adam Faberman (Teleplay)

Director: Gay Linvill

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Episode Notes

  • The title refers to Howard and Bernadette deciding on a name for their new baby boy.

Episode Quotes

Penny: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises. (inhales, exhales)
Bernadette: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Bernadette: Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.

Howard: I can't believe her. She knows I don't want to name the baby after her dad.
Amy: What did you want to name him?
Howard: I don't know. We were gonna wait until we saw what he looked like.
Amy: Well, it's a baby. Her dad's a wrinkly bald man. That wasn't gonna break your way.

Howard: Bernie, this is our kid's name. I think we should both agree.
Bernadette: You're right. We both made this baby.
Howard: Thank you.
Bernadette: And I carried it, had to stay in bed for four months, sacrificed my body and my job, and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me like the Kool-Aid Man.
Howard: Exactly. Fifty-fifty.

Raj: What about Sherman? Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom.
Amy: Hey, Howard, you did that, right?
Howard: I didn't take her. She chaperoned. (chuckles) We slow-danced once.

Bernadette: You know what, maybe we should go.
Howard: Did you have another contraction?
Bernadette: No. I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say "mucus plug" again.
Sheldon: And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye.
Howard: Yep, it's time.

Recap

When the clock strikes midnight, Bernadette wakes Howard up to say it’s time to go to the hospital. Although her water hasn’t broken and she isn’t having any contractions, today is her due date and she wants this to end now. When Howard points out that babies don’t always come on their due date, Bernadette has no time for his argument. When it’s clear Howard isn’t making things better, she tells him to go back to sleep and he gets ready to do so, but he has a change of heart when Bernadette points out that sex can induce labor.

As the guys sit down to eat in the cafeteria, Sheldon remembers that today is Bernadette’s due date. Howard says their doctor told them it could still be another week or two before Bernadette gives birth. When Amy stops by to ask Howard if he has finished the mechanical drawings for their grant proposal, he says he was busy but might have time before the baby arrives to work late with Amy. When she worries that Bernadette will be alone, the guys offer to keep her company.

When Penny stops by Bernadette’s house to check on her, Bernie has been sitting on the stairs for 45 minutes after growing tired of bed rest and then growing tired of moving. After Bernadette says she just wants the pregnancy to be over, Penny mentions that her yoga instructor says some yoga positions can actually kick start labor. Penny and Bernadette try yoga after Bernadette makes her puts on some more clothes to hide her flat stomach. When Penny leads her into a down pose, Bernadette struggles to get back up.

Later, Raj tells Bernadette there’s an acupressure point above her ankle that can induce childbirth, but he is quickly put off by how swollen her feet are. Then, Leonard tells Bernadette about his mother’s theory about being prepared mentally for childbirth before the body will go. The suggestion that delayed labor could be Bernadette’s fault does not go down well. Later, when Bernadette answers the door, Sheldon says he’s there to keep her company by playing the most complicated board game ever created.

In Amy’s lab, Howard tells her he didn’t have time to figure out the three-input hydraulic manifold, so he drew the flux capacitor from Back to the Future instead. When Howard says he wishes he could be there when she presents the grant proposal, Amy says it’s more important that he spends time with “Michael”, revealing that Bernadette has already chosen their son’s name. Howard can’t believe Bernadette would do this, since she knows he didn’t want to name their baby after her dad.

Back at Bernadette’s house, she comes out of the kitchen to find Sheldon has set up the huge board game which he says will take the next five-eight weeks of her life. As Sheldon gets them started, Howard arrives with Amy to confront Bernadette about naming their son without consulting him.

When Howard goes into the kitchen to talk to Bernadette, it takes her a while to follow. When she finally makes it to the kitchen, Howard asks if she was even going to tell him about her decision. When Bernadette asks what’s wrong with Michael, Howard says he doesn’t want to name their son after her father. Howard says as it’s their kid they should both agree, but Bernadette points out that the pains of labor are not shared equally between parents.

Back in the living room, Amy mentions that she got Bernadette in trouble and suggests to Sheldon that they go, but he wants to stay and play the game. When Raj, Leonard and Penny arrive with food, they say Sheldon texted them that Bernadette wanted them to come over. Sheldon concedes the game works better with more players.

As Howard and Bernadette talk about alternative baby names in the kitchen, Bernadette shoots down Howard’s suggestions by saying she has old boyfriends with those names. When Sheldon comes into say it’s Bernadette’s move, she says they’re busy. Later, with everybody in the living room as Sheldon focuses on the game, the gang throw around more suggestions for names. After Amy tells Sheldon they’re talking about something important, he offers a few outlandish name suggestions. When Bernadette says she just felt a contraction, Howard wonders whether they should go to the hospital. Bernadette points out they arrived early before, but with Sheldon busy talking about her mucus plug, Bernadette says it would make sense to leave now. Howard and Bernadette ask their friends to stay and look after Halley as they go to the hospital.

In the car on the way to the hospital, Howard and Bernadette say they’re excited to meet their son. Bernadette apologizes to Howard for trying to sneak the name past him. Bernadette says it doesn’t matter what they name him as he’s going to be amazing.

Back at Howard and Bernadette’s, Amy says she likes the name Elliott, but Leonard says he already picked that as his name for a boy. When Sheldon admits he also likes the name Elliott, Amy is pleased to hear that Sheldon thinks about them having children. She is less enamored with the idea of having fifteen of them, though. After Sheldon says she wouldn’t have to bear them all as they could find a suitable uterus, they look to Penny who quickly quashes that option.

Later that night, as the rest of the gang is asleep in Howard and Bernadette’s living room, Sheldon wakes them up to tell them they need to the game again. Noticing how late it is, Raj decides to call Howard to see how things are going. Howard says the baby was born an hour ago and they named him Neil Michael, “Neil for Armstrong, Gaiman, and Diamond.
Michael because Bernie had to get six stitches.” After Bernadette says they’ll be calling him Michael, Howard tells his friends he’s not going to fight her because “that kid's head was the size of a cantaloupe.”