The Conjugal Configuration Season 12, Episode 1 - Aired September 24, 2018
Sheldon's obsessive need to schedule everything leads to his and Amy's first argument as a married couple when they honeymoon in New York.
Back home, Leonard and Penny are disturbed to see similarities between their marriage and Amy's parents' dysfunctional relationship. Meanwhile, Raj gets into a Twitter feud with astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson.
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Guest Stars: Kathy Bates as Mrs. Fowler, Teller as Mr. Fowler, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson as Himself, Bill Nye as Himself, Giovanni Bejarano as Bellman, Ciara Renee as Sunny Morrow, Andy Kim as Tour Guide
Director: Mark Cendrowski
- The title refers to Sheldon and Amy adjusting to life as a married couple.
Penny: You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know, and we know Amy and Sheldon, Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog.
Amy: How's this for a compromise? Make all the schedules you want, just don't tell me about them.
Sheldon: Excellent. I'll create an algorithm that'll generate a pseudo-random schedule.
Yeah, and do you know why it won't be a true random schedule?
Amy: Because the generation of true random numbers remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
Sheldon: Come with me.
Amy: Where are we going?
Sheldon: To the hotel room. And when we get there, I'm gonna need you to say that again, except naked.
Raj: Sounds like someone's in there.
Bernadette: My God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed?
Howard: Or worse, what if they're back early?
Sheldon: Good morning, wife.
Amy: Good morning, husband. I can't believe we're actually married.
Sheldon: It's official. According to tradition, we should hang the bedsheets outside so the villagers can see that we consummated.
Amy: I don't think that that's appropriate, considering where we're starting our honeymoon.
Sheldon: Well, I suppose you're right. Although, when you think about it, Lego is the perfect metaphor for marital congress. Two pieces that interlock with a satisfying snap.
Amy: Oh, that's the sound you were making.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Well, that was fun. Let's see who else needs a deGrasse kickin'.
Bill Nye: Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson: Hey, Bill, Neil Tyson. We've got to talk.
*Bill Nye quickly hangs up the phone*
After Sheldon wakes Amy up in their hotel room, neither can believe they’re finally husband and wife. Sheldon mentions that tradition calls from them to hang their bed sheets out so people can see they consummated their marriage, but Amy doesn’t think that’s appropriate considering that they’re staying at Legoland California. After Sheldon tells Amy that while she was sleeping he ordered room service, he removes the cover to reveal a LEGO breakfast.
As the group climb the stairs in the apartment building, Raj asks if it’s nice having Sheldon and Amy away on their honeymoon. After Penny says it is because it gives her and Leonard more alone time, Raj points out they’re not alone as all their friends are there. When Bernadette asks i Penny would rather they leave so she and Leonard can spend time together talking about all the things they have in common, Leonard jokes that she called Penny’s bluff. Raj tells them he’s going to be on the news tomorrow to talk about a meteor shower.
When they reach the apartment, they hear a noise coming from Sheldon and Amy’s place. They are worried that somebody might have broken in or, worse, Sheldon and Amy are home early. After Penny runs over and puts her ear up to the door, she’s certain someone’s in there. Leonard wants to go into their apartment, lock the door and call the police, but Penny just starts banging on the door. When Amy’s father opens the door, he claims he was watering the plants, but Penny points out Amy doesn’t have any plants. After being caught in a lie, he leaves the apartment and walks down the stairs. After the gang go inside Apartment 4A, Mr. Fowler runs back up the stairs and returns to Sheldon and Amy’s apartment.
After a bellman carries Sheldon and Amy’s luggage into their hotel room in New York, he asks if they want any recommendations for things to do while staying in the city. Sheldon and Amy say they’re going to be busy with the Harry Potter play, a tour of places Nikola Tesla worked and, Sheldon adds, coitus. Amy is surprised Sheldon wants to do it again, but he points out it is clearly marked on the schedule.
Back in Pasadena, as Leonard and Penny sit down to watch Raj on the news, their plans are interrupted when they hear Amy’s mother shouting and banging on the door across the hall. When they go out to investigate, she’s still knocking on the door calling for Larry. Leonard says he doesn’t think Mr. Fowler is in there, but she thinks he’s being naive. Mrs. Fowler asks them to open the door with their extra key. When they go inside Apartment 4B, Mrs. Fowler is sure she can smell her husband in there.
When Leonard and Penny follow Mrs. Fowler in to Sheldon and Amy’s bedroom, there’s still no sign of her husband. When she goes into the bathroom and slides the shower curtain back, he’s not there, Leonard wonders if she’s satisfied he’s not there. When she draws the shower curtain in the other direction, she finally finds Mr. Fowler hiding in the corner of the bathtub.
In their living room, Howard and Bernadette are watching the news, waiting for Raj’s segment. On the broadcast, Raj starts his interview with a joke that Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson must not have been available. When the newscaster suggests that’s true, Raj gets in a huff and starts insulting Dr. Tyson and never even discusses the meteor shower. Bernadette and Howard watch on in horror.
Wearing their wizarding robes, Sheldon and Amy arrive back at the hotel room from the Harry Potter play. Sheldon says he loved the “interactive” nature of Broadway after he shouted “Harry, watch out!” during the play, but Amy was clearly annoyed by his behavior. After Sheldon mentions that he’s blocked out the rest of the evening for conjugal activities, Amy says she’s jet-lagged and wonders if they could revisit it in the morning. Sheldon says coitus isn’t scheduled against until Thursday. Amy wants to know if they really have to do this on a schedule, suggesting a little spontaneity might be nice. Sheldon is uncomfortable with the idea sex could happen at any time. Sheldon decides to get a shower now so he’s ready any time, though Amy says he doesn’t need to worry about having sex tonight.
Back in Sheldon and Amy’s apartment, Leonard and Penny are sitting with Mr. Fowler as his wife criticizes him for running off without leaving a message or a note. When Mrs. Fowler decides they should go home, Mr. Fowler says he thinks he’ll stay. After Mrs. Fowler threatens to stay, too, Leonard decides it’s time for him and Penny to leave.
As they arrive back in their apartment, Leonard says he feels bad for Mr. Fowler. When Penny wonders what Mr. Fowler ever saw in her, him being so sweet and she being such a ball-buster, Leonard says some guys think strong women are sexy. Penny is offended that he’s comparing them to the Fowlers and suggesting she’s like Amy’s mom.
As Howard and Bernadette serve up dinner in their living room, Raj tells them about Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson’s latest tweet. Bernadette and Howard think he needs to apologize to Dr. Tyson, but Raj thinks a Twitter feud could be good for him. After Raj tweets a sarcastic response about getting under his skin, Dr. Tyson responds with a criticism of Raj’s anatomical knowledge.
Sheldon and Amy are on the streets of New York as they follow a Nikola Tesla walking tour. When the tour guide says something that Sheldon considers wrong, he tells Amy he’s going to say something but she doesn’t want him to. Sheldon thinks Amy is testy because she’s sexually frustrated, claiming she would feel a lot better if she adhered to his coital schedule. After Amy notices the rest of the tour group listening to their argument, she decides to walk away.
When Leonard gets up and finds Penny making espresso, he wonders whether she’s still angry with him; her look leaves him in no doubt. Leonard apologizes, saying he shouldn’t have compared her to Mrs. Fowler. Penny worries that thirty years from now Leonard might be hide from her because she’s scary. Leonard insists he doesn’t find her scary. Meanwhile, as Raj joins Howard and Bernadette to play a board game, he’s busy tweeting Dr. Tyson even as they try convince him to drop this silly feud.
Back in Apartment 4A, Penny is talking with Mrs. Fowler, whose husband said he needed a break from her. Penny comforts Mrs. Fowler and says if she gives her husband some space, she’s sure he’ll come back. After Mrs. Fowler starts to feel better, she tells Penny she’s a good person and she hopes they’ll get to spend a lot of time together. Horrified at the prospect of spending more time with Amy’s mom, Penny goes over to Apartment 4B to throw Mr. Fowler out.
When Sheldon finds Amy sitting on a street bench, he apologizes to Amy. Sheldon admits he’s not a particularly physical person, but he wants to be a good husband and recognises intimacy is a part of that. He explains that he’s worried if he doesn’t schedule their intimacy, he might forget and leave her dissatisfied. Amy suggests a compromise: he can make all the schedules he wants, as long as he doesn’t tell her about them. Sheldon says he will create an algorithm to generate a psuedo-random schedule. When Sheldon asks her if she knows why it won’t be true random schedule, Amy impresses him by explaining that the generation of true random numbers is an unsolved problem in computer science, prompting Sheldon to ask her to go back to the hotel room and repeat that to him naked.
As Raj is driving, he gets a phone call from Dr. Tyson, who doesn’t think Raj is funny. Raj’s Twitter bravado quickly disappears on the phone, so he timidly declines Dr. Tyson’s invitation to go repeat those things to his face. Hot off his “deGrasse” kicking of Raj, Dr. Tyson phones Bill Nye, who quickly hangs up when he finds out who’s calling him.