Penny: We're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come? Oh great! Do you know 98 other people that might want to come?

Penny: What up moonpie!

Leonard: This conference is kind of a big thing. The keynote address is being delivered by George Smoot.
Penny: Oh my God, the George Smoot?
Leonard: You've heard of him?
Penny: Of course I haven't.

Penny: Oh, I love San Francisco. I wish I was going with you.
Sheldon: I understand your envy. This is a can't miss symposium. There are going to be discussions on bio-organic cellular computer devices, the advancements in multi-threaded task completion, plus a round table on the non-equilibrium Green's function approach to the photoionization process in atoms.
Penny: When I go, I usually just get hammered and ride the cable cars.

Penny: The theater is above a bowling alley, so it's a little noisy, but it might be the only chance I'll ever get to play Anne Frank. And the director is brilliant. He uses the bowling sounds as, like, Nazi artillery.

Sheldon: You're holding a Japanese puzzle box, which takes ten precise moves to open. First, locate the panel with the diamond pattern and slide the centre portion one millimetre to the left. Then, on the opposite end of the box, slide the entire panel down two millimetres. You'll hear a slight click.
Penny: Hang on. Sheldon, do you have any emotional attachment to this box?
Sheldon: No, it's a novelty I ordered off the Internet. Now, did you hear the click?
Penny: Not yet. (Puts the box on the ground and stomps on it)There it is.

Howard: [looking at his caller ID] Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight. [answering phone] Hey, baby...
Penny: His right hand is calling him?

Penny: Look, Sheldon, I'm really, really sorry but it's only going to be for a week. Can't you be a little bit flexible?
[Leonard, Howard, Raj and Sheldon all look at her]
Penny: Yeah, sorry, I didn't really think that through.

Penny: Boy, I love him, but he is one serious wackadoodle.

Penny: There, nice and comfy cosy. Zero, zero, zero.
Sheldon: There's one more zero. You forgot the time parameter.
Penny: Sit on the damn couch.

Leonard: She's only been here a day and a half, and I'm seriously considering alcoholism as a new career path.
Penny: Hey, I talked to her for five minutes yesterday, and I've been half bombed ever since.

Penny: You can't let her get into your head.
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house.

Penny: Fellas, please.
Howard: Penny, come on, we were just finding our sound.
Penny: You found it. It's the sound of a cat being run over by a lawn mower.

Penny: I know my dad wanted a boy. I just, I tried being good at sports, but I hated getting dirty!
Beverly Hofstadter: And then, I'm assuming you entered adolescence.
Penny: Uh-huh. He called me Slugger until I got my first training bra, and then he just stopped playing catch with me. I wasn't Slugger anymore. (As Leonard opens the door) Your mother's here!

Penny: Hey.
Leonard: You got alcohol?
Penny: Your mom still here?
Leonard: Yep.
Penny: Come on in.