Sheldon: Well, don't worry. He's now on my enemies list forever. He's totally cut off.
Professor Proton: Interesting. Can-can anyone sign-sign up for that list?

Sheldon: So what prescription are you getting filled?
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: No wait, I want to guess. Don't tell me.
Professor Proton: I wasn't going to tell you.

Sheldon: No, wait. I'm really good at this. Give me a hint. Does it involve difficulty initiating a stream of anything?
Professor Proton: Well, given my age, that's more than just a lucky guess.

Professor Proton: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: It's been pointed out by my girlfriend that I may have been annoying to you.
Professor Proton: She sounds like a keeper.

Sheldon: Now that you and I are friends again, I am at your disposal. And frankly, lending my name and reputation to it will help. Because a lot of people think you're a washed up has-been ... or dead.
Professor Proton: I should be so lucky.

Professor Proton: If someone had told me people would still call me Professor Proton when I was eighty-three years old, I never would have quit smoking.

Bill Nye: What are you guys working on?
Leonard: We're making nano-vacuum tubes.
Bill Nye: Interesting.
Professor Proton: Haven't you stolen enough from? Back off bow-tie!

Leonard: Oh, gees.
Professor Proton: Another photo from Sheldon?
Leonard: No, I have to go pick him up. Bill Nye ditched him at the smoothie place.
Professor Proton: He probably stole his wallet too.

Sheldon: Arthur, I'm surprised to see your here.
Professor Proton: Yeah, me too. Somewhere around the third floor I began to see a white light.

Sheldon: Look at Arthur cracking up at a joke I made. I'll never hear that joke again.
Arthur: You never heard it that time.

Penny: So, do you do a lot of appearances like this?
Professor Proton: It, it's hard to say. I'm, I'm still trying to figure out what, what th, what this is.
Leonard: We just wanted to hang out with you and maybe learn a little about your life.
Professor Proton: Well, there, there really isn't too much to tell. After the TV show was, was canceled, nobody in the scientific world would, uh, would take me seriously. So I was forced to do these, uh, children's parties to, to make a living.
Leonard: That's too bad. But still, working with kids, it must be rewarding.
Professor Proton: You, you get bit a lot.

Professor Proton: Let me see if, if I have this straight. You, you two are, are physicists, and you, and you want me to do a children's science show?
Sheldon: Yes. And if there's time, take 12 pictures with us in seasonal clothing.
Professor Proton: You know, I'm a real scientist. I, I have a PhD from Cornell University.
Sheldon: Yeah, that's great. Did you bring your puppet?
Professor Proton: No, no. I, I hate that puppet.
Sheldon: Oh, no. How could anybody hate (in an exaggerated Italian accent) Gino the Neutrino? It's nice, huh? I got him for 20 bucks on eBay. (Italian accent) Including the shipping!
Professor Proton: I'm, I'm awake, right? Th, this is happening?

Professor Proton: Look, guys, keep your money. I, I think, uh, I, I think I'm done.
Sheldon: What, well what's wrong? Is she upsetting you? Because I can make her go away.
Professor Proton: No, she, she's the only reason I've, I've stayed this long.

Leonard: Then what is it?

Professor Proton: I don't know. I think I'm just, I, I just, I just don't want to be Professor Proton any more.
Sheldon: Well, how can you say that? Professor Protons the best.
Professor Proton: What, what has it ever gotten me? I mean, I'm, I'm an 83-year-old man who has potatoes in, in his suitcase. Other scientists think, think I'm a joke. And the, the puppeteer who did, who did Gino, well, he also did my wife.

Sheldon: Well, anyway, um, you may find this hard to believe, but I didn't have any friends growing up.
Professor Proton: No, I, I get that.