Professor Proton: And can I get out of this mumu now?
Sheldon: Those are the robes of the Jedi, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.
Professor Proton: And they don't wear underwear.

Sheldon: Hello, Arthur.
Professor Proton: What-what part of "rest in peace" don't you understand?

Sheldon: I suppose you're here because you heard the news?
Professor Proton: Sheldon, I'm a figment of your imagination. I don't hear news.

Sheldon: You're a grumpy figment. Look, they're remaking your show, and they cast Wil Wheaton as Professor Proton. And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist.
Professor Proton: No, the-the worst part is, I'm sitting on a moist log.

Professor Proton: Is, uh, is he dangerous?
Leonard: Actually he's a genius.
Sheldon: I am.
Professor Proton: That doesn't answer my question.

Leonard: You want one of us to go with you in the ambulance?
Sheldon: I'll do it.
Professor Proton: He's not a relative. He's not allowed, right?
Paramedic: No, that's not a rule. He can go.
Professor Proton: I can't catch a break today.

Sheldon: Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Professor Proton: Thank you, Sheldon. That, that was very nice.
Sheldon: Want me to sing it again?
Professor Proton: No. The fourth, the fourth time was the charm.

Sheldon: Should I call myself Professor Proton, Jr.?
Professor Proton: Sounds great.
Sheldon: So, in a way, it's like I'm your son.
Professor Proton: Whatever.
Sheldon: Father.
Professor Proton: Sure, what the hell.

Professor Proton: Is the blond girl really your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: You're the genius.

Sheldon: Can I invite you in for tea?
Professor Proton: No, I really have to run .
*Penny walks in the room*
Penny: Hey Arthur, how are you?
Professor Proton: Well I guess one cup wouldn't hurt.

Professor Proton: I was thinking if it isn't too much trouble, I'd like to get your opinion about my paper.
Sheldon: Thank you, it would be an honor.
*Professor Proton hands Sheldon his paper*
Sheldon: Actually, I don't need that. I hacked into your email account and read it.
Professor Proton: What did you think?
Sheldon: First, I think the fact you use your birthday as a password is embarrassing.
Professor Proton: Thank you.
Sheldon: Second, I thought your paper was inspired.
Professor Proton: Well that means a lot to me.

Leonard: Okay, we're almost ready to go. Once we bond the wires, we can test the tubes.
Professor Proton: This is so exciting. I feel like I'm seventy-five again.

Leonard: The guys are about to start Jedi. Do you want to go watch?
Sheldon: I do. After I make them go back and watch 1 through 5.
Leonard: That will take all night.
Sheldon: That's true. Good thing I had that nap.

Sheldon: Well, don't worry. He's now on my enemies list forever. He's totally cut off.
Professor Proton: Interesting. Can-can anyone sign-sign up for that list?

Sheldon: Arthur.
Professor Proton: You-you know, we could we could also meet in-in a deli.
Sheldon: I'm sorry to say that I failed you. I tried to stop Wil Wheaton being Professor Proton, but I couldn't.
Professor Proton: See, now, that's-that's the kind of thing you could tell a fella over a pastrami sandwich.