Raj: You know, this reminds me of high school.
Emily: You worked in a restaurant?
Raj: No, I was in India. It was humid and smelled funny.

Raj: 37 minutes left until the deadline.
Sheldon: Someone will show.
Howard: And no matter what happens, this is still a fun experiment.
Raj: Not as fun as the night we blew up grapes in the microwave. We really have led full lives.

Raj: But it is basic human nature. If we present him as a prize, maybe they would.
Howard: Well, he's smart, he's a respected scientist-
Sheldon: And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.
Raj: I don't know if I'd say you - Oh.

Raj: You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe. I-I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
Howard: Hubba Bubba over Dubble Bubble? You're crazy.
Raj: Hey, the jaw wants what it wants.

Bernadette: Hey, Raj. Dad and I were just talking about taking down this wall.
Raj: You sure? It's a pretty great wall.
Mike Rostenkowski: What's so great about it?
Raj: (To Howard) I'm sorry. I did what I could.

Bernadette: Seriously? You brought Raj over to take your side?
Raj: Your dad's on your side.
Bernadette: He's not on my side. He's doing all the work for free.
Raj: That is so generous of you. I'd like to switch sides.

Leonard: Did you hear about this study that found people that were cool and popular at 13 have problems succeeding later in life?
Raj: Hmm. I'm doing okay, and I was very popular at 13.
Penny: In school?
Raj: Oh, no. At home. The servants would sing to me, laugh at my jokes. I wish I knew their names.

Amy: It's going fine. It's mostly just been meeting people for coffee.
Raj: Wha?!
I thought we were all- Never mind.

Amy: Aren't we being a little mean?
Raj: That's a fair point. We wouldn't make fun of someone like this to their face.
Penny: Look, it's Stuart!
Raj: You may want to leave the room.

Raj: Uh, no no, uh, definitely not.
Howard: What was wrong with that guy?
Raj: Uh, he's Indian. We've already got one of those.
Ooh, we should find a nice Latino. Really round us out.

Raj: Why do you need Kripke? Why don't you just go to Party City for helium?
Leonard: We'd have to go to every Party City in California.
Howard: Sounds like you on Cinco de Mayo.
Raj: Hey, people were still talking about that party on siete de Mayo.

Raj: Look at us! We're like the Rockettes!

Raj: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Howard: I thought you were Puss in Boots.
Raj: Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.
My name is Puss in Boots. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Barry Kripke: Gentlemen, welcome to the fencing club. Before we start, I just want to warn you, fencing isn't a joke. I hope you're not here because you think it's going to be like Star Wars.
Leonard: That's not why we're here.
Raj: Yeah, I'm here because I think it's gonna be like Game of Thrones.
Howard: And maybe a little Princess Bride.
Raj: Ooh, ooh! I forgot about Princess Bride! That's my answer!

Raj: I'm telling you, dude, the song has no groove. You can't dance to it.
Howard: Who cares? I thought the whole point of Footprints on the Moon was to write songs that make people think.
Raj: You can do both, like Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean". While you're dancing you're thinking, like, "Darn it, whose baby is it?"