Raj: Hey.
Leonard: Hey.
Raj: I brought Chinese.
Penny: Oh, that's a nice surprise. What's the occasion?
Raj: Please, I don't need a reason to bring food to my friends.
Leonard: But you have one, don't you?
Raj: Yeah, I need your help.

Raj: Recently, 12 new moons were discovered orbiting Jupiter, bringing the total up to 79.
As a middle child myself, I'd like to extend my sympathies to moons two through 78. Your grandpa will never learn your name. I'd like to thank you for joining me on this journey through the stars. If you enjoyed this lecture, please come back Thursday for the exact same one.

Howard: I just want to let you know I get why you don't want me to be a part of the planetarium show.
Raj: Oh, great. Thanks for stopping by.
Howard: You don't want to talk about the stars next to an actual astronaut. That would be like doing karaoke with a rock star.
Raj: First of all, I've totally done karaoke with a rock star. Or are you forgetting when the Spin Doctors handed me the mic at the Orange County Fair?

Howard: Listen, I understand you being intimidated, but I can't help that I'm proud of being an astronaut. It's a big deal.
Raj: Oh, it certainly is, but I also happen to be very accomplished in my field.
Howard: Great. So you have no reason to be scared of sharing the spotlight.
Raj: Please. I may be scared of heights and spiders and showing up at a costume party that turns out to be a regular party, but I am not scared of sharing the spotlight with you! [Raj walks out, and then reappears]
Howard: What's happening?
Raj: I just stormed out for dramatic effect. I- Actually, I don't have anywhere to go.

Raj: What the hell did you two say to Anu?
Bernadette: Uh, whatever do you mean?
Raj: Why, why would you tell her I wear ladies' deodorant?
Penny: Uh, because you're a boy and it's really funny.
Raj: Oh, oh, okay. Pardon me for having the confidence to smell daisy-fresh.

Raj: Guys, I need your help, okay? I'm trying to buy her engagement ring. What do you think of this? Do you think she'll like this one?
Bernadette: Well, it's hard to say, not knowing much about her. Does she have fingers?
Raj: Yes, she has ten fingers and ten toes. Probably. I'll get back to you after I see her in sandals.

Tam: Sheldon! So good to see you!
Sheldon: Tam.
Tam: It's been a long time.
Sheldon: Mm, not long enough to erase the sting of betrayal.
Tam: How did I betray you?
Sheldon: You know what you did.
Raj: Uh, let me catch you up. He does not.

Howard: I wonder what Tam could have done.
Raj: Hmm. Well, if Sheldon doesn't want to talk about it, it's got to be pretty upsetting.
Howard: I have his brother George's number, he might know.
Leonard: Really? You have George's number?
Raj: So so jealous!

Tam: So, is he here?
Leonard: Uh, no. He didn't come. He's, uh, he's still pretty upset about ... you know.
Tam: I know what?
Leonard: Come on, you-you must know.
Tam: No, we haven't talked in, like, 20 years.
Howard: Right. Because ... you know.
Raj: I don't think he knows.
Tam: What are you guys talking about?
Leonard: Why did you and Sheldon stop being friends? What did you do?
Raj: And don't worry, even though we just met you, we think you're right and he's wrong.

Anu: Excuse me. Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, some clean silverware and find out what they're having? That looks delicious.
Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
Anu: Thank you. So, you're an astrophysicist?
Raj: Yes, ma'am. I-I mean, uh, just yes. U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
Anu: I don't.
Raj: Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. You seem more like a sweet thang.
Anu: Wow. You are not good at this.

Anu: I told my parents our first date went well and they got very excited.
Raj: Oh, tell me about it. My parents were so thrilled, they actually spoke to each other. So that was a disaster.

Anu: Raj. I know we don't know each other very well, but you seem like you'd make a good father and you're tall enough so I can wear heels and I think that's something worth fighting for. Will you marry me?
Raj: (stammering) Oh, my God, oh, my God. Yes, of course, of course I'll marry you!
Anu: If you'd like to kiss me you can.
Raj: Oh, great.
Anu: I should warn you I have a tongue piercing.
Raj: Oh, you're not that nice. (laughs)

Anu: I guess if we're going forward with this wedding, we should talk about the next steps.
Raj: Oh, like themes and flowers?
Anu: Actually, finances and taxes.
Raj: Oh. We can't use that. That was the theme of my parents' divorce.

Raj: You guys should've talked about all this stuff while you were dating. I mean, me and Anu already know so much about each other.
Bernadette: Wait, I forget, is Anu your waxer?
Raj: Uh, no, that's Annette. Anu is the woman my father fixed me up with. We're going on our first date tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to see Annette.

Howard: Hey. Mind if I sit?
Raj: Did you just come here to tell me I'm making a gigantic mistake by having this blueberry muffin and I should've got a cinnamon roll like you did?
Howard: No.
Raj: Good, 'cause I'm happy with my choice. Although that cinnamon roll does smell good if you're open to halfsies.