Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 11 of 262

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Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Leonard, when that woman moved in three years ago I told you not to talk to her, and now look. We're going to be late for the movies.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: What makes you think she wouldn't have sex with me? I'm a male and she's a female.
Sheldon: Yes, but not of the same species.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I present to you the Relationship Agreement. A binding covenant that in its 31 pages enumerates, illuminates and codifies the responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper - hereinafter referred to as the "Boyfriend" - and Amy Farrah Fowler - hereinafter referred to as the "Girlfriend.
Amy: That's so romantic!
Sheldon: Mutual indemnification always is.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Penny: Sheldon, did you have a Christmas tree?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. We had a tree, we had a manger, we had an inflatable Santa Claus with plastic reindeer on the front lawn. And to make things even more jolly, there were so many blinking lights on the house they induced neighborhood-wide seizures.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy of your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?

Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture

Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Penny: Sheldon, could I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I would prefer that you not, but I wouldn't go so far as to forbid it.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Leonard: Can I have a napkin.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, no!
Leonard: But you have a whole bunch of napkins.
Sheldon: Yes, I've moved to a four napkin system, lap, hands, face, and personal emergency. If you like, starting tomorrow, I'll add a guest napkin but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today.
*Leonard grabs a napkin.*
Sheldon: Good luck, that's the face napkin.

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Sheldon: Oh, by the way, I was watching you sleep for a moment, and I noticed that your snoring seems to be worse when you're on your back.
Penny: Leonard doesn't snore.
Sheldon: I wasn't talking to Leonard.
Leonard (to Penny): Told ya.

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

(Sheldon notices Penny taking Leonard to his bedroom)
Sheldon: What's going on?
Penny: Get your noise-cancelling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
Sheldon: Oh, not this again.

Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation

Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel?
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie.

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out into the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future, which you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled dolphins?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Aww.
Leonard: Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Well, who would ever guess that?

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: There there, everything is going to be fine... Sheldon's here!

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