Sheldon: I think what really needs to be rescued is your sense of whimsy. But one quest at a time.

Sheldon: I'm so excited. And I just can't hide it.
Leonard: Oh. I'm about to lose control. And I think I like it.
Sheldon: What are you talking about?

Sheldon: So, they're requesting that the white boy play the funky music, yes?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: And this music we're listening to right now is funky as well?
Leonard: Sure.
Sheldon: Let me ask you this. Do you think this song is the music the white boy ultimately plays?
Leonard: It could be.
Sheldon: So it's like the musical equivalent of Russell's Paradox. The question of whether the set of all sets that don't contain themselves as members contains itself.
Leonard: Exactly.
Sheldon: Well then, I hate it. Music should just be fun.

Sheldon: Aren't you worried that sitting in the lobby for a long period of time might attract the attention of the hotel detective?
Leonard: If we do, we'll just tell him to hit the bricks, see.
Sheldon: Seems a little confrontational, but all right.

Leonard: I don't think George Lucas put his headquarters in the middle of nowhere because he wanted people dropping in.
Sheldon: Yoda's swamp was in the middle of nowhere. Tatooine was in the middle of nowhere. Hoth was in the middle of nowhere. That's code, Leonard. He wants us to drop in.

Sheldon: Would you like to play a physics car game I invented called "I Can't Spy?" It's all the nail-biting tension of I Spy but the added fun of sub-atomic particles and waves outside the visible spectrum.
Leonard: If it's half as much fun as "1 x 10 to the 4th bottles of beer on the wall", I'm in.

Sheldon: Play that funky music, white boy.
Leonard: I'm surprised you know that reference.
Sheldon: What reference?

Sheldon: What do you say to a graduate of the U.C. Berkeley Physics Department? I'll have fries with that. Because his education hasn't prepared him for a career in the sciences.

Sheldon: I don't see what's crazy about bringing a backpack with your own toilet paper and Purell.
Leonard: Keep going.
Sheldon: And rubber gloves, and air freshener. Noise cancelling headphones. Oh, danger whistle. Umm, pepper spray. Ooh, a multi-language occupied sign. Let's see, we have seat protectors, booties for my shoes, a clothes pin for my nose. Oh, and, a mirror on a stick so I can make sure the person in the stall next to me isn't some kid of weirdo.

Sheldon: What if I told you that I added your name to the cable bill?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: That's just as well. They had me on hold for 20 minutes. I hung up.

Sheldon: I have mixed feelings about interviews. I like the part where I talk, but I do not like the part where the other man talks.

Leonard: New salon topic: What's more important-- an idea or its execution?
Bernadette: Oh, that's fun.
Sheldon: Good for you, Leonard. That's a lovely little notion. Kind of like "I wish I could talk to my uncle in Chicago." Yeah, and I'll stand back while I invent the telephone. *holds invisible telephone to ear* Hello? Oh, hold on. Leonard, it's your uncle. He says you just got burned.

Sheldon: All he had was an idea.
Amy: Well, that is an important part.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I have ideas all day long: Reverse SeaWorld where dolphins are allowed to pet people; a new clothing size between medium and large called "Marge"; Snow White retold from the point of view of Sneezy. Why won't Doc prescribe him something? We finally find out.
Amy: Well, Leonard's idea was good.
Sheldon: Fine, then Grumpy. What's he so grumpy about? Maybe his girlfriend won't take his side.

Sheldon: An article was just published in Scientific American about our theory.
Leonard: Did they hate it?
Sheldon: No, no, they loved it. They couldn't say enough nice things about it.
Leonard: So what's the problem?
Sheldon: You know how the pennysaver only has my name on it?
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: They didn't mention you in the article, only me.
Leonard: Really?
Sheldon: I know. It's not fair. *massages Leonard's shoulders* Let the anger go, buddy. You just, you relax all your muscles, except for your pubococcygeus and anal sphincter. Let's keep those going.

Leonard: Oh, now he's a genius? All you ever do is make fun of him and engineering.
Sheldon: Leonard, please. His mother just died.