Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 207

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Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: Sorry, but when you make a discovery like this, you don't just take it down to City Hall. You tell the whole world. And so I'll say it in Latin or Klingon or smoke signals, if that's not cultural appropriation.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Sheldon: I mean, it's not that I think we're living in sin, but I do like the idea that our next act of intimacy will be a legal requirement.

Quote from the episode The Confidence Erosion

Howard: You and Amy having fun planning your wedding?
Sheldon: We're employing a mathematical approach called decision theory, so, heck, yeah.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Sheldon: I have grudges that go back to preschool. Someday, I'm gonna find a grown-up Elaine Dwyer and eat her favorite crayon while she watches.
Amy: Is that why there's an Elaine Dwyer on our guest list?
Sheldon: Yes. That night, I'm going to have the first dance and the last laugh.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Penny: I thought you were looking at a cliff on the beach.
Amy: We were, but Sheldon didn't like any of them. Some were too beachy, some were too cliffy.
Sheldon: And all of them were too outsidey.

Quote from the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement

Sheldon: Hmm who could it have been?
Amy: Sheldon, what did you do?
Sheldon: I plotted my revenge. If you get a dish, I'll serve you some cold.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: He wasn't insane.
Leonard: He did fall in love with a pigeon.
Sheldon: Well, if we're gonna call Tesla crazy for loving something small and unappealing, might as well put Penny in a padded cell right now.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: Why did you tell Barry Kripke your idea? This is all your fault.
Leonard: No, it's your fault. If you would've come to us in the beginning, none of this would've happened.
Amy: Well, if it helps, you all behaved terribly and you deserve what you got.
Sheldon: Well, that doesn't help, at all. You know, sometimes your social skills are very poor.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: Do you think they're right, Amy? Do you think I'm like Edison?
Amy: Sheldon, I don't think you're upset because of what kind of scientist they said you're like. I think you're upset because your friends' feelings got hurt.
Sheldon: You're right. I care too much about other people's feelings. It's always been my fatal flaw.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't think-
Sheldon: No, no, not now, Amy. I'm growing as a person.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: I don't think what they called you is the point here.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah? How would you feel if I called you the name of a neuroscientist you didn't like?
Amy: Do you know the name of any neuroscientist?
Sheldon: Of course.
Amy: Not me?
Sheldon: Then no.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: You know whose fault this is?
Amy: I do. Yours.
Sheldon: No, my mother's. "Go make friends, Sheldon." What happens? 20 years later, they call me names.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: Well, you are building on their work and taking the credit for it. That's a classic Edison move.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah? Well, if I'm Edison and you love me, then what does that say about you?
Amy: I honestly don't know.
Sheldon: Okay. Well, I have to Google some stuff about Mrs. Edison. I'll be right back.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Sheldon: Can you believe they said I was just like Edison? Yeah, and in front of a lady, no less.

Quote from the episode The Tesla Recoil

Amy: What's going on?
Howard: Sheldon went to the Air Force behind our backs.
Sheldon: I did nothing of the sort. I had an idea for a neutrino-based communication system, I presented it to them, and they were interested.
Howard: But your communication system was based on our guidance system.
Sheldon: And sonar is based on bats. You don't see them hanging upside down in a patent attorney's office.

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