Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 1 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Sheldon: Amy, I usually know exactly what to say. But in this moment I have no words.
I guess I'm overwhelmed by you. In a good way. Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way. Even if I can't tell you now how I feel, I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mark Hamill: Congratulations on your wedding.
Sheldon: Thank you. When this is over, I have 4,000 things for you to sign.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Sheldon: Leonard. That's Mark Ha-Ha-Ha. It's-it's Mark Hami-Ha-Ha-
Leonard: Yep. Thank Wolowitz. He set it up.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Sheldon: There's something I need to tell you. Wow, you look amazing! That's not what I need to tell you. But you do!
Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: Something incredible just happened. Remember when you were telling me about my bow tie and how a little asymmetry is good?
Amy: Yeah?
Sheldon: My equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world, and the only way to do that is to introduce imperfection into the underlying theory.
Amy: So, instead of super symmetry, it would be super asymmetry?
Sheldon: (gasps) Super asymmetry. That's it! Give me your lipstick.
Amy: What?
Sheldon: Just give it to me, you beautiful thing! We have work to do!

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Mary: Oh, Shelly. I wish your dad could see you now.
Sheldon: Me, too. I miss him.
Mary: He would be so proud of you. I know that I am.
Sheldon: Thank you. I mean, for everything. My whole life.
Mary: Oh. *Mary hugs Sheldon*

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Missy: Hey, Shelly.
Sheldon: I'm so glad you made it, Missy. This is my fiancée, Amy. Amy, this is my sister. If I ever need a kidney, this is where you get it.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Amy: (to Georgie) I like your accent. Sheldon, did you used to sound like that? Can you still?
Sheldon: I can. I will not.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Amy: Why do you keep tying and untying that bow tie?
Sheldon: I can't seem to get it even.
Amy: Well, I don't think it's supposed to be even. Sometimes a little asymmetry looks good. In the Renaissance, they called it "sprezzatura."
Sheldon: The Renaissance? Amy, you know I'm more of an Enlightenment person. At some point, we have to decide how we want to raise the children.

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Amy: That was Wil Wheaton. He's really excited about tomorrow.
Sheldon: As am I. If you'd have told me as a child that an actor from Star Trek would be officiating my wedding, I would've said, "Ooh, William Shatner?" And if you'd have said, "No, Wil Wheaton," I'd have said, "Well, did you even try William Shatner?" And if you'd have said, "Yes, but he costs too much money," I'd have said, "Ah, well, Wil Wheaton's good, too."

Quote from the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry

Penny: All right, Saturday is the big day. A lot of people thought this would never come. I may have been one of those people.
Amy: I may have been one of those people.
Sheldon: Wait, wait, are we talking about the wedding?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah, I was definitely one of those people.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: Why aren't you looking at the camera?
Amy: Oh, you know, I'm just working on my peripheral vision.
Sheldon: Well, that is nonsense. Your peripheral vision is fine. Are those women's magazines making you feel bad about yourself again?
Amy: Yup, that is what's happening.
Sheldon: I have told you before, those women are airbrushed to make it look like they have good vision.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Leonard: Is it me, or did we just patch a tire?
Sheldon: He said, "Never patch." Do you even listen?

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: Hello. Room service? I'm calling about the club sandwich on your menu. No, I-I don't want one. I just want you to spell it correctly. Unless the "club" is the Poor Typing Club. Okay. Now let's discuss this 15% "gratooty"? Yeah, well, that was rude. [hangs up] Someone just lost their gratooty.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Leonard: Well, look, we don't fly out until the morning. Why don't I try and talk to him, give it one more shot?
Sheldon: All right. But if he says, "Nerd says what", don't answer him.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You are a lamb to the slaughter.

Quote from the episode The Sibling Realignment

Sheldon: Once, when I was eight, I was going to dress as my favorite scientist for Halloween, and Georgie threw my costume away. I had to wear a sheet and go as a ghost. Scared myself all night long.

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