Sheldon: Thank you, Dr. Fowler. I have a very long and somewhat self-centered speech here. But I'd like to set it aside.
Penny: Yeah!
Howard: Way to go!
Sheldon: Because this honor doesn't just belong to me. I wouldn't be up here if it weren't for some very important people in my life. Beginning with my mother, father, meemaw, brother and sister. And my other family, who I'm so happy to have here with us. Is that Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I was under a misapprehension that my accomplishments were mine alone. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired and tolerated not only by my wife, but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had. I'd like to ask them to stand. Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Dr. Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz. Astronaut Howard Wolowitz. And my two dearest friends in the world, Penny Hofstadter and Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. I was there the moment Leonard and Penny met. He said to me that their babies would be smart and beautiful. And now that they're expecting, I have no doubt that that will be the case.
Penny: Thanks, Sheldon. I-I haven't told my parents yet, but thanks.
Sheldon: Oh. I'm sorry. Don't tell anyone that last thing. That's a secret.
Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Penny, Leonard, I apologize if I haven't been the friend you deserve. But I want you to know in my way, I love you all. And I love you. Thank you.

Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: What? Did you finish? Great job.

Leonard: What?
Amy: Sheldon has something he'd like to say.
Sheldon: I'm sorry I didn't react appropriately. You and Penny are bringing new life into the world. Congratulations. I can't wait to meet it.
Leonard: "It"?
Sheldon: That's a gender-neutral pronoun. If you're offended, take it up with the English language.

Sheldon: What would you like me to say?
Leonard: How about congratulating us?
Sheldon: Are congratulations even in order? I didn't think Penny wanted children.
Leonard: Well, she didn't, now she does. And just so you know, we weren't gonna tell anybody so we wouldn't upstage your big day.
Sheldon: Oh, please, you couldn't upstage us. We won a Nobel Prize. Any idiot can have a baby.
Howard: Hey. What's going on?
Sheldon: Case in point.

Leonard: Are you kidding me? You just found out that a woman who has loved and cared for you for 12 years is pregnant, and all you can say is you're relieved that she's not gonna get you sick?
Sheldon: There's no need for a recap. I was there.

Sheldon: Uh-oh. That's the fourth time she's been to the bathroom in the last two hours.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: Her breakfast was binding. I made sure of that.
Amy: So?
Sheldon: So she clearly has some sort of stomach distress. If it's viral, we're all susceptible.
Amy: She's probably just airsick.
Sheldon: Yeah, but what if she's not? What if we get what she has? What if we infect the King of Sweden? That's how wars start. [Penny leaves the bathroom and instantly heads back] All right, that's it, this is Outbreak and she's the monkey.
Amy: [faintly] Wait. Stop. Be reasonable.

Sheldon: Hello? What did we just learn about the end of business meetings? [everyone groans as they shake each other's hands]

Sheldon: All right, well, we should head out now if we're gonna get to the airport six hours before boarding.

Sheldon: "Number one, in Sweden, punctuality is taken very seriously. In other words, the loosey-goosey attitude in Helsinki will not fly in Stockholm."
Amy: "Two, at the beginning and end of all business and social meetings, shake hands with everyone present: men, women and children."
Sheldon: Yes, you're all encouraged to pair off and practice this once we're in the air and the seat belt sign is off.

Amy: Sheldon, this isn't about ruing. This is about humbly accepting a great honor.
Sheldon: Amy, we won the Nobel Prize in Physics. Humility is for people who win the goofy Nobels like Literature, Economics and Peace.
Amy: Please tell me that's not in your speech.
Sheldon: Oh. I can cut it, but it's the only joke I have.

Amy: I think you need to do some editing, like maybe cut out all that stuff about your childhood.
Sheldon: Are you kidding? Growing up in the backwoods of East Texas is what makes me warm and relatable.
Amy: Well, what about all these pages calling out everyone who said you wouldn't succeed?
Sheldon: I told them all they would rue the day. How is it gonna make me look if the day finally comes, and they're not filled with rue?

Sheldon: "Your majesties, members of the Nobel Academy. When I was a young boy growing up in East Texas I always knew I'd wind up on this stage, and everybody who said I wouldn't looks pretty darn foolish right now. I'm talking about you, high school science teacher Mr. Hubert Givens."
Amy: Sheldon, Sheldon. Why are you talking so fast?
Sheldon: I'm trying to get my speech down to 90 minutes.
Amy: Nobody's gonna be able to understand a word you're saying.
Sheldon: Welcome to my life.

Amy: How about this: you can practice your acceptance speech while I try on the dress.
Sheldon: Ah, great. You can help me whittle it down to 90 minutes.

Amy: Do you want to go back to the apartment and see me try on my dress?
Sheldon: Shouldn't I see it for the first time at the Nobel ceremony?
Amy: It's not a wedding.
Sheldon: Okay. Well, give me a minute to think of another reason I don't want to see it.

Penny: Well, thank you guys so much for the clothes and the shoes, the plane tickets. You've been so generous.
Amy: Well, it's important that all of our friends get to share this moment with us.
Sheldon: And then for years to come, you can tell others you had a front-row seat to history. Although, technically, I think your seats are in the second row.