Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 2 of 209

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Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Penny: This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol, she generally means business.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.

Quote from the episode The Troll Manifestation

Sheldon: Can I respond now?
Leonard: Do it.
Sheldon: You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.
Leonard: Somebody else do it.

Quote from the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Penny: Well, she did soften your life, didn't she?
Sheldon: Yes! She's like the dryer sheets of my heart!

Quote from the episode The Spock Resonance

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. This is Adam Nimoy.
Adam Nimoy: Nice to meet you.
Sheldon: Oh, it's nice to meet you. I admire your father's work very much.
It's not every day I get to meet someone whose life's journey began in my hero's scrotum.

Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation

Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Howard: I thought you didn't like Facebook any more.
Sheldon: Don't be silly, I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact.

Quote from the episode The Prestidigitation Approximation

Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: "Not knowing is part of the fun." Was that the motto of your community college?

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Sheldon: The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn't be attacked.

Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination

Sheldon: But I have been getting better with sarcasm, if you want to give that a try.
Amy: *sarcastic* Oh, sure, I'd love to.
Sheldon: Whenever you're ready.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Sheldon: I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement, specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.
Penny: Oh my God! What personal habits?
Sheldon: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: Well, this is different. Candles and music.
Amy: Do you like it?
Sheldon: It's kind of spooky.
Amy: I can change it back.
Sheldon: No, it's your birthday. As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask, I'll be fine.

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. Sssh!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'm Batman! Ssssh!

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