Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 2 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Leonard: What are we going to do?
Sheldon: Perform the experiment immediately.
Leonard: I'd love to, but we need liquid helium and our shipment's on back order for a month.
Sheldon: A month? What? Are you kidding me? That would have been a good time for you to soften the blow.
Leonard: That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes.
Sheldon: Thank you. Aren't you sweet?

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out in the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal, which brought you 5,000 years into the future, where you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back, to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we are transported to work at the think-a-torium by telepathically controlled flying dolphins?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Awww.
Leonard: Penny kissed me.
Sheldon: Who would ever guess that?

Quote from the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Penny: Well, she did soften your life, didn't she?
Sheldon: Yes! She's like the dryer sheets of my heart!

Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation

Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: There's no denying that I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Howard: I thought you didn't like Facebook any more.
Sheldon: Don't be silly, I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact.

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: I am a grown man. I am a professional scientist. And I currently occupy the moral high ground.
Mary: Go to your room.
Sheldon: But I occupy the moral high ground.
Mary: Go to your room.
Sheldon: But I'm a professional scientist.
Mary: Go to your room!
Sheldon: *Backs away to his room* I'm a grown man.

Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Sheldon: The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn't be attacked.

Quote from the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Sheldon: This is Leonard. He's your best friend in the world.
Leonard: All right, just stop. This is ridiculous.
Sheldon: Sometimes he gets cranky, but you can trust him with your life. And he does more things for you than I can even begin to list.
Leonard: Thank you.

Quote from the episode The Prestidigitation Approximation

Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: "Not knowing is part of the fun." Was that the motto of your community college?

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don't want tea.
Sheldon: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.
Leonard: Then why are you telling me?
Sheldon: It's a conversation starter.
Leonard: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation

Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.

Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination

Sheldon: But I have been getting better with sarcasm, if you want to give that a try.
Amy: *sarcastic* Oh, sure, I'd love to.
Sheldon: Whenever you're ready.

Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination

Penny: Hey, I don't think she's wrong about you going too slow in the relationship.
Sheldon: Too slow?
Penny: Yeah, you've been going out for years. You haven't even slept together.
Sheldon: That's right. It's called foreplay.

Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
Amy: Me too!
Sheldon: I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again!
Amy: That works for me.

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