Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 3 of 221
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Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Sheldon: I am a grown man. I am a professional scientist. And I currently occupy the moral high ground.
Mary: Go to your room.
Sheldon: But I occupy the moral high ground.
Mary: Go to your room.
Sheldon: But I'm a professional scientist.
Mary: Go to your room!
Sheldon: *Backs away to his room* I'm a grown man.
Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation
Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.
Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination
Penny: Hey, I don't think she's wrong about you going too slow in the relationship.
Sheldon: Too slow?
Penny: Yeah, you've been going out for years. You haven't even slept together.
Sheldon: That's right. It's called foreplay.
Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Sheldon: Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
Amy: Me too!
Sheldon: I look forward to your next birthday when we do it again!
Amy: That works for me.
Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm
Sheldon: I wouldn't tell you the secret. Sssh!
Leonard: What secret? Tell me the secret.
Sheldon: Mom smokes in the car. Jesus is okay with it, but we can't tell dad.
Leonard: Not that secret, the other secret.
Sheldon: I'm Batman! Ssssh!
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.
Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative
Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-men.
Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction
Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration
Penny: Sheldon, we know this is a sensitive subject, and Leonard's not going to move out until you're ready.
Sheldon: What if you did it gradually?
Leonard: All right, how about we start with two nights a week I live with Penny?
Sheldon: How about one night and I let you whistle?
Sheldon: When I'm not home.
Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis
Sheldon: Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.
Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'
Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Sheldon: I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.
Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation
Amy: Listen, you and I are gonna be sharing a bed. You know, this is uncharted territory for both of us. How are you feeling about that?
Sheldon: Oh, excited, concerned, a little scared. All the same emotions I feel in line at Space Mountain.
Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization
Sheldon: Good. Then I'll be leaving now.
Emily: Oh, it's okay, Sheldon. Come with us.
Sheldon: Oh, that's very kind of you. But I'm sure you'll all have a better time without me. Let's go, Stuart.
Stuart: But I want to stay.
Sheldon: Stuart, now!
Quote from the episode Pilot
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really!
Sheldon: If the height of a step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care. 2 millime--? That doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: It's true. I did a series of experiments when I was 12. My father broke his clavicle.
Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school?
Sheldon: No. That was the result of my work with lasers.